


There's A Good Chance I'm A Bad Person

by ShyAudacity



Series: I Am Not Afraid To Understand You [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bisexual Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Dialogue Heavy, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, F/M, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: Six months. They’re granted six months of peace after Ali’s initial arrest before the trial rolls around, and somehow it still feels like it came on too quickly.ORHere's what happens after the end of I Am Not Afraid To Understand You.
Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Ali Martin, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: I Am Not Afraid To Understand You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875277
Comments: 20
Kudos: 219





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First off, shoutout to ghostlyluke and oneawkwardcookie (on tumblr) for not only being my beta's but for being my biggest cheerleaders to get this fic finished. It quite literally would not have happened without them. Second, just like the fic before this one, the conversation can get pretty heavy at times, so please be kind to yourselves my friends! Enjoy!
> 
> Side note: If you just stumbled onto this fic and are curious about it you don't really need to read the first one, but it would certainly help for context and other universe differences.
> 
> Title from Buddy Wakefield's "A Choir Of Honest Killers."

Six months. They’re granted six months of peace after Ali’s initial arrest before the trial rolls around, and somehow it still feels like it came on too quickly.

Eddie doesn’t bring up the trial unless Buck mentions it first, and even then, the conversation never seems to last long. It’s not until they meet Buck’s lawyer that things really start to sink in. Cara Reeves gets recommended to them by Athena, an old friend who deals with domestic dispute/abuse cases- Eddie is starting to hate those words- and she’s willing to give a discounted rate. She seems nice enough; Buck doesn’t panic or go silent when they first meet her. But the fact that they need to have a lawyer in the first place leaves a sour taste in Eddie’s mouth. 

All of this is really happening. There’s no putting it off anymore.

The last three days before their court date feel a lot like controlled chaos. Eddie and Buck still have work to occupy themselves with, but it does little as far as distracting them. Buck barely sleeps and only really manages to push food around on his plate at meals, even when he’s made it himself. He’s agitated and distant with everyone, even Bobby and Athena. Nearly all of his sentences are monosyllabic; it’s like trying to talk to a zombie, and a skittish one at that.

Eddie knows he doesn’t mean anything by it- the distance and all that stuff; Buck’s got a lot on his plate right now. More than some people face in their entire lives. At the same time, when Buck rolls away from him in the night, Eddie can’t help but feel a little lonely or that he’s not doing enough as a partner.

Partner. Now  _ that’s _ a word that will never get old in Eddie’s book.

He thinks about it often. How much power the word holds and everything that comes with it. Being Buck’s partner has been one of the best things to come out of Eddie’s life in the last year. What kind of idiot would he have to be to go and mess that up when they’ve got such a good thing going?

Then, on their last day of work before the trial starts, a call comes in about a bad domestic (incident), and Eddie’s forced to remember that not everyone holds relationships to the same standards as him.

In all honesty, they shouldn’t have been there in the first place. The one eighteen was on their way back from a kitchen fire- just some structural damage, no one was injured- when a call came over the radio about medical assistance that’s needed a few blocks over. Bobby figured that they might as well follow, just in case. Calls like this often come after a fight; if nothing else, they could make sure that no one else tried to start something.

Hen and Chimney are already inside the house when the fire truck pulls up. A haggard man is in the driveway of the house, holding a bottle in his hand as he leans against a black pick-up truck. The knuckles on his right hand are bruised and bloody. Eddie notices him immediately. The next thing he notices is Athena’s squad car parked at the next house over. The look on her face makes Eddie realize that maybe this call isn’t what they were expecting it to be.

“The neighbor called it in,” she says. “Had the arriving officers showed up any later, I have a feeling the outcome would’ve been different. We caught a bad one for sure.”

“Was it a fight between the neighbors?” Eddie asks.

Athena shakes her head. “I’m starting to wish it was.”

Eddie looks up just as the front door to the house opens. Chimney walks out first, followed closely by Hen who has her arm around a dark-haired woman with a bleeding head wound. The woman holds onto Hen with one hand while she cradles the other close to her chest; it must be broken. Eddie looks back at the husband, taking in his bloody knuckles and drunkenness again and realizes he read this situation all wrong.

_ He _ did this. That man hurt his wife. 

The next thing he thinks of is Buck, and a sinking feeling starts forming in his gut. Eddie looks to his left, ready to say  _ hey let’s sit back on this one _ or something, but Buck is already ten feet away from him, charging at the husband at full speed.

Everything moves so quickly after that that it’s hard for Eddie to keep up. The next thing he knows, Buck has his hands around the husband’s collar and is yelling in his face as Eddie struggles to pull him off. It isn’t until Bobby comes over and gets an arm around Buck that he finally lets up- but the anger is still written all over his face. He’s bright red and still breathing hard.

Eddie’s never seen Buck lose his temper before, and honestly, it’s a little horrifying. Hell, he didn’t even think Buck had the ability to  _ get _ mad like that.

Soon after, another officer comes by and leads the husband towards a squad car. Once some distance has been put between them, Bobby turns to Buck with a furrowed brow.

“I know you have a lot going on right now,” he says, “But getting yourself fired over that prick isn’t worth it and we both know it. You’re done for now. Go back to the truck.”

Buck doesn’t put up a fight; Eddie watches him carefully, not missing the tense line of his shoulders. When Eddie looks back to Bobby, words are already leaving his mouth. "Hen and Chim can finish up just fine here. Go sit with him; make sure he doesn't try anything else that'll end up with him in handcuffs."

Eddie almost says  _ that would only make things worse, _ but he doesn't. He's not sure how much Buck has told Bobby about Ali and he doesn't want to give more away than need be. He simply nods and turns on his heel, walking quickly towards the truck.

Buck is sitting in the back of the fire truck with his head in his hands. Eddie can't see his face very well, but he's not sure he even wants to. He's seen Buck upset before, sure, but not like this- not  _ angry _ . 

Eddie leaves the door open to let the air circulate but doesn't get inside. Buck doesn't say anything, but Eddie didn't expect him to. The air is thick with everything left unsaid.

It’s not long before Bobby comes back to the truck and Eddie finally climbs in, leaving space between himself and Buck. Bobby spares a glance back at the both of them but doesn’t say anything. It stays quiet until they get back to the firehouse.

Buck is the first one out of the truck when they pull into the firehouse; Eddie’s phone lights up with a text from Chimney.

**Chim:** _ Is B alright? We heard some commotion back at the house. _

Eddie doesn’t know what to say to that, so he sticks with nothing. He pockets his phone as he looks up, realizing Buck is nowhere to be seen. Eddie walks just far enough up the stairs that he can get a view of the loft. The couches are deserted and there’s no one in Bobby’s office. Just as well, there are still three hours left in their shift so it’s not like Buck can  _ leave _ leave.

It takes another ten minutes of looking, but eventually, Eddie finds him in the bunk room. Buck is lying on his stomach on the cot furthest from the door with a shitty excuse for a pillow pulled over his head. Eddie lets the door shut behind him, letting his shoes drag against the floor so Buck can hear him.

Eddie sits on the edge of the cot, pressing his knee up against Buck’s calf. Quietly, he asks, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

In the low light of the room, Eddie almost misses the shake of his head. He mutters, “Okay,” then sits there with him, just in case Buck changes his mind.

After shift, they pick up Christopher early from school and spend some quality time with him before he goes over to Abuela’s for the next few days. It’s going to be lonely around the house without him, but Buck and Eddie both know that this week is going to be hard enough as it is. They don’t want to expose Christopher to an emotional outburst if they can help it. He doesn’t know all the details about why they’re going to court and for now they’d like to keep it that way.

Eddie doesn’t say anything about the trial until they’re already in bed for the night, having noticed that Buck is still agitated as all get out.

“You know we don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Buck, I can tell that this is hurting you. We all can. If the trial is only going to make things worse then maybe we should-.”

“ _ No _ , Eddie,” Buck says insistently. “I have to go through with this. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

He rolls over without another word and Eddie holds back a frustrated sigh. He doesn’t know what he could say that could fix any of this, so doesn’t try to come up with anything. Trying to hold a conversation while one of them is overly stressed hasn’t done them much good in the past.

Neither one of them sleeps much that night.

There’s a tension in the air when they get ready in the morning; it’s too quiet. It feels like the whole city of Los Angeles has slowed down for once- Eddie can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. It feels like a bad omen pulling his good suit out of the closet. He’s never had a good reason to wear it, and there’s no telling what direction this day is going to go.

He doesn’t miss the way that Buck’s hands shake as he fumbles with his dress shoes before they leave. He looks up at Eddie after finally getting them on, pressing his lips into a thin, tight smile, but it’s useless.

Nothing about this day is going to feel good and they both know it.

Even though it’s only a few miles from the house, it’s still going to take a while to get through traffic so Buck and Eddie leave plenty early. Buck sits rigidly in his seat, leaning against the window and chewing at his thumbnail.

Eddie wants to say something to him, but he doesn’t have a clue where to start.

They sit in silence until they pull into the parking lot for the courthouse; they’re almost an hour early. A quick glance around the parking lot proves that they’re some of the only ones here. It doesn’t even look like Cara is here yet so there isn’t much point in going inside. Eddie looks over at Buck and notices his hands are shaking still; he doesn't know whether to try and hold Buck or leave him be.

He settles for something in the middle. “Buck-.”

“I’m sorry that I snapped at you last night,” he says in a rush. “I know you were just trying to help.”

“Already forgiven.”

A flash of relief comes over Buck’s face. He looks down at his hands before speaking again. “If I don’t do this, then that means she won.”

“What?”

“If I back out on the trial then that means Ali wins, just like always. She’ll still have the advantage of knowing she got away with all of this and I couldn’t do anything about it. I don’t want her to get the better of me anymore. I’m tired of feeling like she’s still controlling my life, even from a distance.”

As much as it hurts Eddie to hear Buck say all of that, there’s also a wave of pride that comes with it. He doesn’t know if he would’ve been strong- or brave enough to go through with something like this if he was in Buck’s shoes.

Eddie picks up Buck’s left hand, brings it to his mouth and leaves a feather-light kiss across the back of his knuckles.

“For the record, however things play out in there- I’m very proud of you.”

Buck’s eyes start to get misty. He opens his mouth to speak when there’s a rap on Eddie’s window that startles them both. It’s Athena.

Through the glass, she says, “You boys coming or what?”

Eddie looks back to Buck for a moment, checking one last time that he really wants to do this. Buck squeezes Eddie’s fingers where they’re still pressed together then nods before saying:

“Let’s get this over with.”

The next hour seems to drag on forever. Buck gets pulled away by Cara almost as soon as they walk in the door, and it kills Eddie not being able to go with him for the briefing before all the chaos starts. At least Athena is with him, he reminds himself, having a friendly face next to him is better than no one.

Once they’re finally allowed to go sit in the actual courtroom, Eddie sits in the front row, sandwiched between Maddie and Bobby. Chimney and Hen wanted to be here for their friend, it was hard enough to get three people from one shift off for multiple days in a row, let alone five. There aren’t many other people in the room beside themselves and the jurors. Just a few stragglers who have nothing better to do with their day besides watch people air out their grievances.

Eddie looks down at his watch; it’s five after nine. He leans over to Bobby. “Don’t these things usually start on time?”

“Give it a few more minutes, I’m sure they’re just-.”

Before he can say anything else, doors open on the right side of the room. A security guard steps through and says, “All rise for Judge Sean Hansen.”

Eddie watches carefully as an older gentleman with clean-cut hair that’s graying around the edges walks in and takes his seat at the bench. He doesn’t look scary by any means, but he doesn’t look very excited to be here, either.

Next, the security announces Buck’s name, and he walks in, Cara and Athena on either side of him as they walk to their seats. Buck is only a few feet away now; if Eddie wanted to, he could reach out and touch him, but he thinks that might get both of them in trouble. 

When Ali’s name is announced, Eddie watches as Buck’s entire body goes stiff. She gets led in by a different guard, wearing a dark blue jumpsuit and handcuffs, her lawyer following close behind her. She looks up at Buck before sitting down, and something in her face changes- like she’s just seen someone that she’s missed.

Eddie wants nothing more than to jump over the gate and scream in her face for hurting such a wonderful man. For breaking him down so mercilessly.

He’s so caught up in his anger towards Ali that Eddie misses the rest of the opening statement that introduces the case to the jury. The next thing he knows, Buck is getting up in front of him, making his way towards the stand.

“Please state your name for the record.”

Buck clears his throat. “Evan Jacob Buckley.”

“You may proceed.”

Cara gets up from her seat and makes her way towards Buck, stopping a few feet short of the stand.

“Good morning, Mr. Buckley.”

“Hi- I mean, good morning.”

“Mr. Buckley, can you tell me how old you are?”

“I just turned twenty-eight.”

“And how long have you worked for the LAFD?”

Buck looks over to Eddie, and Eddie nods back at him, giving him the assurance that he needs. “Since I was twenty-one, shortly after I moved to the city.”

“Would you say that you meet a lot of people while you’re out on calls?”

“Yes.”

Cara steps to the side, gesturing behind her. “Mr. Buckley, can you tell me who this woman is?”

Buck swallows harshly, looking for only a second before tearing his eyes away. “That’s Ali.”

“And how did you meet her?”

“On a call. There was an earthquake a few years ago and I helped rescue her from a collapsed building.”

“And after that call, did you see her again?”

“She asked me to get a drink with her, to thank me for getting her out of the building. Insisted that she had to repay me somehow.”

Cara asks, “So the two of you got drinks?”

“I don’t know for sure. The last thing I remember is… is walking inside the restaurant. The next thing I knew I was in a bed, but it wasn’t mine. And my hands were tied together over my head.”

“Did you know where you were?”

Buck shakes his head. “No. Not at all.”

Cara walks back to the table, pulling a handful of photos out of a manila folder. “Presenting to the jury Evidence files C through F.”

Eddie doesn’t have to wonder what the photos look like. Cara came over a few weeks ago to go over the evidence with Buck, just so there wouldn’t be any surprises when it came time to look at them in front of the jury. It’s pictures of the house, all of them taken just a few hours after Buck was rescued. There’s a shot of the small kitchen, the living room, and a shot of the bedroom from the doorway.

In the last one, you can still see the rope hanging from the bed frame where Ali tied Buck up; just looking at it made Eddie angrier than anything.

Even with the heads up, Eddie still watches Buck go stiff when the photos are laid out in front of him. He doesn’t move to touch them to get a closer look- all of it is already ingrained in his head.

“Mr. Buckley, can you confirm for the jury that this is where you were being held for three years.”

“Yes. That’s the place.”

“And, in your own words, can you describe for the court what it was like living in that space with Ali.”

Buck pauses for a moment, searching for the right things to say. “It was a struggle. I didn’t know where I was, or why. But Ali insisted that I couldn’t leave her. Told me that my family would be mad at me for disappearing so why even bother going back. She kept a lock on the door so I couldn’t try to leave while she wasn’t home and… she wanted me to put on a performance.”

“How so?”

“Ali expected me to have dinner on the table when she came home and keep the house in order- like a stay at home dad, or something. But I wasn’t familiar with any of that- I didn’t even know how to cook when we met. She would get angry with me when I messed up and find some way to hurt me. I had my guard up most of the time because I was afraid of making her angry. There was no reasoning with her.”

“And when you finally got away from her?”

“I was terrified, but I knew it needed to happen. I was beyond exhausted from trying to protect myself and keep her happy all the time. I don’t think I would’ve survived much longer if I had stayed.” 

Eddie inhales sharply. He’s never heard Buck talk like that before; it makes his chest ache with wishing that he could hold him.

“You spent a long time with this woman, Mr. Buckley,” Cara states. “But you don’t seem to give a lot of specifics about her. No details about where she works or any mentions of friends.”

“Objection,” Ali’s lawyer, Daniel Jenkins, chimes in. “Statements are irrelevant.”

“Objection overruled,” Judge Hansen says. “Counselor, continue, but do you keep your questions intact.”

“Let me be specific, if I may,” Cara says. “Did you ever meet any of Ali’s family members or go out to dinner with her friends? If there was a special occasion where did she take you?”

“ _ Objection- _ .”

“Nowhere,” Buck says in a rush. “I never left the house. Not even for fresh air.”

“The jury will overlook Mr. Buckley’s previous statements when deliberating. Counselor Reeves, I suggest that you choose your next few words carefully and make them scarce.”

Without even breaking a sweat, Cara asks, “Mr. Buckley, for the court’s documentation, can you tell me Ali’s last name?”

Buck makes a miserable face, his eyes going glossy before muttering. “I have no clue.”

“It’s Martin.” Cara looks up at Judge Hansen with a focused eye. “No further questions, your honor.”

Buck is barely given a second to breathe before Jenkins is getting out of his seat, buttoning his suit jacket as he walks towards the stand. Something about the look in Jenkins’ eyes makes Eddie feel like he’s about to walk into a fistfight. He’s got a bad feeling about this.

“Mr. Buckley, can you describe the nature of your relationship with Miss Martin for the court?”

The way Jenkins says  _ relationship _ makes Eddie’s stomach roll; judging by the look on Buck’s face, it does the same for him.

“I wouldn’t really call it that,” Buck says.

“Let me rephrase the question. When Miss Martin and you agreed to get drinks, were you excited?”

“I mean… it wasn’t my idea. She insisted.”

“Though you were willing to go, yes?”

“Well, yeah, but-.”

“So it’s not a stretch to say that you showed interest in Miss Martin from the beginning? Is it?”

“I pulled her out of a crumbling building. My interest was to make sure that she made it out alive. Any interest I showed her that day or after is coincidental.” 

“Though you were interested enough to go home with her after you had drinks? Correct?”

Buck’s face goes stony around the edges. “I have no recollection of agreeing to leave with her.”

“Do you remember what you were talking about that night?”

“Not a clue.”

“Because you were drunk?”

“What? No!”

Maddie leans over and whispers in Eddie’s ear. “Did he seriously just say that? How is the judge letting him get away with this?”

Eddie doesn’t respond. He’s too busy trying to focus on not combusting from rage. He keeps his eyes on Buck the entire time.

Jenkins retreats to his table, taking a file of flipping through it. “According to my client, you were “stumbling over your words and unable to even hold yourself up. In no shape to drive himself home.” Is it probable for one to think that you don’t remember any of it because you were too intoxicated?”

“I don’t remember any of it because it happened more than three years ago and she  _ drugged _ my  _ drink _ . I barely remember showing up there, let alone what I ordered.” 

“But it was enough to go home with her. Wasn’t it?”

Buck is getting agitated now. “I just told you, I have no recollection of agreeing to go home with her.”

“But you were willing enough to stay even after the night ended, weren’t you?”

It takes everything in Eddie not to leap out of his seat and put Jenkins into a chokehold.

“She never gave me the option to leave. She said-.”

“Did you ask, Mr. Buckley?”

“…What?”

“Did you ask Miss Martin if you could leave and go home?”

“No, I- I didn’t think she would say-.”

“Let’s think back to the night that you left her. Did you tell Miss Martin that you were leaving?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why was that?”

Buck swallows harshly. “Because I didn’t want her to catch me. I knew she’d make me stay or hurt me if she caught me.”

“Catch you doing what exactly?”

“I- I don’t understand the question.”

“For the court’s record, tell us  _ exactly _ how you chose to leave Miss Martin that night.”

Even from twenty feet away, Eddie can see Buck’s eyes go glossy. Jenkins knows exactly what he’s prying at and it’s about to ruin everything.

“I put a sleeping pill in her water bottle before she went to bed. That way she wouldn’t wake up and catch me climbing out of the window.”

A few gasps go through the crowd and Eddie feels his heart sink into his stomach.  _ That’s only one half of the story, _ he thinks to himself,  _ if only everyone knew the bigger picture. This guy is trying to paint Buck as a monster. How fucking dare he. _

Eddie digs his fingers into his pant legs to keep from doing something stupid like jumping out of his seat and yelling in Jenkins' face. He sneers at the back of Jenkins’ smug head.

“One last question, Mr. Buckley… do you regret what you did?”

Buck looks as sure as ever. “Not for a second.”

Strange as it sounds, Eddie can’t help but be proud of him. Standing your ground is never easy, much less when there’s a crowd that’s considering every little thing you say. Eddie doesn’t miss the way that Buck seems to breathe a little easier when Jenkins retreats back to his table. After a minute, Buck is removed from the stand and Eddie nods at him assuredly as he makes his way back to his seat.

We got this; he tries to convey without actually using his words. We’re good. Everything is going to be fine.

Eddie just hopes he isn’t lying to himself somehow.

When Ali walks up to the stand, Eddie keeps his eyes on Buck the entire time. He’s heard quiet sniffling coming from the other side of the room for the last hour and Eddie doesn’t want to see what kind of spectacle she’s going to try to make out of herself. Judging by the way Buck keeps his head pointed towards the ground, he’s trying to do the same. 

Ali remains in handcuffs even after she’s on the stand. Jenkins walks up first, leaning against the wood as if he built it himself.

“Miss Martin, in your own words, tell me about the day you met Mr. Buckley.”

“I was working when an earthquake hit downtown,” she answers. “The building started to collapse while I was still inside of it. I thought I was going to die up there, but then Evan came to my rescue.”

Eddie doesn’t miss the way that Buck flinches at the use of his first name.

“By Evan, you mean Mr. Buckley?”

Ali nods, “Sorry. Force of habit.”

Eddie rolls his eyes so hard it hurts. He looks over just for the sake of glaring at her. Ali’s hair hangs limply in her face, masking her features.

Jenkins asks, “After Mr. Buckley got you out of the building, what happened?”

“I had to repay him somehow. I gave him my phone number and asked if he wanted to get drinks later that week. He said yes.”

“So he goes home with you that night; whose idea was that?”

“Both of ours, I guess. He mentioned that he wasn’t feeling well and my place was closer to the restaurant than his apartment. It made sense that he would come over. We talked the whole night about our lives and previous relationships. Neither of us had ever felt this way about someone before. The whole thing felt like destiny. After that… he just never left.”

“Then all of this- Mr. Buckley claiming that you held him captive and drugged him repeatedly, how do you explain that?”

Ali makes a face like she might start crying again. “I don’t know. Really, I don’t know why we’re doing any of this.”

A hand on Eddie’s arm takes him away from the conversation. Looking over at Maddie, he finds her eyes locked on Buck; his whole body is trembling. He can just barely hear him sucking in whistling, strained breaths. All the hairs on Eddie’s neck stand on end.

_ Oh, God, that can’t be good. _

When he focuses on the conversation again, he finds that Ali has resorted to pleading with the judge.

“Evan is my  _ husband _ . All of this isn’t necessary-.” She looks away from the judge and sets her sights right on Buck. “Evan, tell them. Tell them you want to be with me, please, let’s just go  _ home _ .”

Eddie doesn’t miss the awful choking noise Buck lets out at the word  _ husband _ . All eyes within ten feet turn to look at him; he’s wheezing now, desperately pulling at the tie around his collar as if it’s going to help him.

“Buck?” Eddie says quietly, trying to get his attention, but it’s of no use. “Buck, it’s okay-.”

“Mr. Buckley, are you okay to proceed?” Judge Hansen interjects. There’s no ignoring the situation anymore. The whole courtroom is tuned into the mess at hand.

Athena lays a hand on Buck’s shoulder and says something in his ear, but Buck just shakes his head. Athena says something that Eddie can’t quite make out to Cara and the next thing he knows she’s getting out of her seat, saying, “Your honor, my client would like to request a brief recess to collect himself.”

Judge Hansen looks at her pensively, then over to Buck. “The court will take a thirty-minute recess, starting now. Counselor Reeves, you and Sergeant Grant may escort him out of the courtroom.”

Athena slides an arm around Buck’s waist, her other hand holding his arm as she leads him away from the table and out of the courtroom. Eddie jumps out of his seat ready to follow them but Bobby stops him with a hand on his arm.

“I know you want to,” he says sincerely, “But we can’t go back there.”

“He’s panicking, Bobby, I can’t just-.”

“I know.” Bobby looks around for a minute, making sure that’s not attracting any unwanted listeners. “Step outside and call Athena, she’ll be with him. If nothing else you can talk Buck off a ledge even if you can’t be in there with him. Go, before somebody sees you.”

Eddie gets up without another word, walking briskly out of the room with the phone pressed to his ear. It’s quiet in the hallway outside of the courtroom; the phone rings twice before it clicks on the other end. He doesn’t even wait for Athena to speak. “Put him on the phone.”

The next thing he hears sounds like someone trying to breathe with a bag over their head.  _ “E-Eddie?” _

“Hey, hey, I’m here,” he says gently. “Talk to me, Buck. How can I help?”

_ “I can’t. I can’t breathe. I didn’t- I didn’t marry her Eddie, you have to believe me.” _

“I know, sweetheart. I know you didn’t.” The pet name slips out before he can stop himself. “I believe you; I promise. I need you to breathe for me alright? In for four seconds then out for four seconds, remember?”

Buck gives a short, uneven breath like it’s taking everything out of him. Quietly, he says _ , “I wish- wish you were in here with me.” _

Eddie presses the phone closer to his ear as if that’s going to make him any closer. He aches with wishing he could hold Buck and help him through all this better. “I know, I wish I was in there, too. Just keep breathing for me okay?”

It’s another ten minutes of reassuring Buck that nothing bad is going to happen to him before he’s calmed down, and even then, Eddie can still tell that he’s terrified of going back in that courtroom and facing Ali. Sooner than either of them would like, Cara’s voice comes from somewhere on the other end of the line, saying they only have five minutes before they need to go back into the courtroom. Buck’s breath hitches into the receiver and Eddie knows his anxiety just sky-rocketed all over again.

“Buck. Hey, listen to me,” Eddie says firmly. “She’s not going to win, you hear me? No matter what happens in there, she’s not going to win because you already did. You got yourself out all on your own. That’s something bigger than any jury or judge could prove.”

There’s silence on the other end. For a second. Eddie worries that he said the wrong thing, but then Buck’s small,  _ just-for-Eddie  _ voice comes through and says:

_ “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Eddie.”  _

The phone call cuts off before he can say anything else, but Eddie doesn’t even care. He’s too busy making sure that his heart doesn’t come flying out of his chest. He wishes he could hold onto this warm feeling in his chest forever, but he knows that as soon as he steps back into that courtroom, the feeling is going to crumble around him.

Eddie gives himself another minute to just enjoy it before exhaling heavily and pushing the doors to the courtroom open, already preparing himself for whatever else is about to come his way. He takes his seat between Maddie and Bobby again, not looking directly at either of them.

Maddie asks, “Is he okay?”

“Okay as can be expected,” he says stiffly. There’s no other way to put it.

The doors to the right open again and Buck walks through with Athena following close behind him. If he was any less in-tune to Buck’s body language, he’d think the red rings around his eyes were just a fluke. Eddie catches Buck’s eye right before he sits down; he pats the left side of his chest with his right hand twice, sending a silent message.

Buck’s eyes light up for a fraction of a second; he echoes the motion and Eddie knows it was well received.

As soon as Buck sits down again, Judge Hansen looks over at him. “Mr. Buckley, are you feeling well enough to proceed with the hearing?”

“Yes, your honor.”

Judge Hansen looks unsure for a moment but goes along with it anyway. “For the sake of keeping the peace, the court will refrain from asking Miss Martin any more questions. Counselor Reeves, call your next witness.”

Athena goes up to the stand next. She’s no stranger to being in courtrooms; she’s defended her arrests in domestic abuse cases countless times over the years. Though, in all her years of being an officer, she’s never had to speak on a case where she knew the victim so closely.

“Sergeant Grant, you were the arresting officer in this case, correct?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Walk me through that night.”

“I was patrolling when I got a call from a friend. He had a lead on the whereabouts of B- Mr. Buckley. No one had heard from him in more than a day and we were all worried about him. At his request, I tracked his phone out to where he was and found them both at Miss Martin’s house.”

“And the friend was Edmundo Diaz, correct?”

“ _ Eddie _ , yes.”

Eddie feels his face flush under the use of his first name.

“What did you find when you arrived?”

“I announced myself, of course. Then, once I was finally in the house, I found Mr. Diaz and Miss Martin in the middle of an argument. Miss Martin was pointing a gun at him, which she then pointed at me and I had no choice but to use my firearm.”

“And after that?”

Athena’s face goes still. “Eddie and Buck had both been wounded in one way or another. Both of them were taken away by ambulance, as was Miss Martin. All of them were taken to the same hospital.”

_ I don’t remember the ride in the ambulance, _ Eddie thinks to himself.  _ Bobby must’ve saved me the headache. I can’t imagine that I would’ve been very bearable to deal with in that state- was probably too worried about Buck to be the least bit coherent. _

“And you knew Mr. Buckley previous to this, yes?”

Athena nods. “He and Eddie both work under my husband, Bobby Nash, for the LAFD. I’ve known them both for quite a while.”

“Knowing him prior to that night- did it influence your decision making at any point?”

Athena shakes her head. “No. I just knew that I wanted to get him home in one piece. We all missed Buck long enough the first time that he was gone… I didn’t feel like having a repeat of that situation. I know his family wouldn’t have wanted that, either.”

_ His family. Wait- am I included in that? Do I get to call myself Buck’s family? Does he even see me that way? Shit. How have I never considered this before? I mean… the guy lives in my house and we sleep in the same bed, I don’t know what else you would call that. _

Eddie’s so distracted that he misses the end of Athena’s questioning altogether. When he looks up, Bobby isn’t next to him anymore but at the witness stand. He must’ve been tuned out for a while.

“Captain Nash, how long have you known Evan Buckley?”

“I’ve known him since he was twenty-one and he started working in my firehouse.”

“Have you two always been close?”

“No, not at the beginning,” Bobby says with a smirk. “We didn’t see eye to eye at first. I thought he was just some punk with an overinflated ego and he thought I was too serious. It took some time, but we eventually started to understand each other better. I watched him grow into the man he is now… I consider myself lucky to get to say that.” 

“And when Mr. Buckley didn’t show up for work originally, what was going through your head?”

“He’d been known to walk in late before, I thought he was just stuck in traffic or slept through his alarm again, his usual excuses. But when a few hours went by and I still hadn’t heard from him I knew something wasn’t right. When that shift was over, two of my colleagues and I stopped by his apartment but his roommates hadn’t seen him either. No one knew where he was. We called him a thousand times but no one ever picked up.”

“And after that?” Cara asks, “How did things around you change without him around?” 

The grin that was on Bobby’s face a minute ago has now disappeared. His eyes dart over to where Buck is sitting for a long moment before looking back at Cara.

“I lost my wife and my children a few years ago,” Bobby tells her. “Losing my family hurt like all hell- I didn’t think I would ever be able to make peace with all of my grief. But then Buck strolled into my firehouse and made himself at home with this little family we’ve made out of ourselves. So when he was just…  _ gone _ without so much as a heads up, it- it felt like losing one of my kids all over again.”

Bobby’s voice cracks at the end and Eddie’s own throat goes tight; he can’t imagine how much that must’ve hurt. A little voice appears in the back of his head saying:  _ that could’ve been you. You could’ve lost Shannon  _ and _ Chris in that accident. What the hell would you have done then? Would you have been able to survive a tragedy of that magnitude?  _

He feels sick just thinking about it.

Bobby only stays up there for another minute or two before Maddie trades places with him. Despite the well dressed, put together façade she’s put on, Eddie has a strong feeling that she’s been stressing about this just as much as Buck. If he didn’t know what a determined Buckley face looks like by now, he would think she was mad. Then again, maybe she is.

“Miss Buckley, you’re ten years older than Mr. Buckley, correct?”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“That’s quite the age difference. Did it put distance between the two of you while growing up?”

“Not even a little,” Maddie says with a smile. “Buck and I have been thick as thieves from day one. Our parents worked a lot, so I was the resident babysitter, but I didn’t mind. I was just happy to have someone else around. Even when I got older, we still talked all the time.”

“Did you ever lose touch with each other?”

Maddie makes a shameful face. “Yes, we did.”

“Why was that?”

“I was… having marital issues, to put it lightly, and Buck was a thousand miles away trying to start a new life for himself. Even if I didn’t pick up, he still called on holidays just to say he missed me. So, when my birthday rolled around and I hadn’t heard from him, I knew something was wrong. After calling around I learned that no one had heard or seen him in six weeks. I couldn’t sit by and do nothing so I packed my things and moved out to LA to try and look for him… took a while before I found him, obviously.”

“All that time, waiting to hear something- how did you handle it?”

“Not well, honestly,” Maddie says with a watery voice. “I couldn’t sleep most nights because I worried about him. I sat up just wondering where he was, if he was even alive or not. And if he was, then why wouldn’t he call or just  _ come home _ .”

Cara nods, saying, “Thank you for your time- the prosecution has no more questions, your honor.”

Eddie looks over to Judge Hansen after Cara takes her seat again. The stoic, hard set look on his face hasn’t broken once since they started. Judge Hansen looks down at his wristwatch before folding his hands together.

“Given the time and everything that’s been discussed thus far, this feels like a good stopping point for the day. I encourage the jurors to consider carefully the information you’ve heard today but keep in mind that not all sides of the case have been presented yet and remember not to share the details of this case with anyone outside of this room. The court is adjourned and will resume at ten tomorrow morning.”

The gavel slams and chairs screech as people start to get up. Eddie looks down at his watch and realizes it’s already four o’clock- where did the day go? When he looks up, Buck is standing with Cara on the other side of the gate talking as she packs up her files; Buck looks exhausted in more ways than one. As if sensing him, Buck looks over and finds Eddie, his shoulders deflating ever so slightly at the sight of him.

_I know,_ Eddie thinks to himself. _I’m ready for this to be over, too._ It’s another fifteen minutes of standing around and waiting before Buck and Cara are done and even then, she still calls Buck when they're halfway home to discuss the plans for tomorrow’s proceedings. Eddie only catches pieces of the conversation, but he’s not sure he wants to hear much else.

By the time they get through LA traffic and home, it’s almost six. It’s too quiet when they walk inside; Eddie wishes Christopher was here. He hopes they can call Abuela later and talk to him before he goes to bed.

Buck falls face-first onto the couch and Eddie doesn’t bother with trying to get him into bed or out of his suit. A little while ago, Buck explained his apprehension over sharing a  _ bed _ with someone else, how at times it made him feel stuck all over again. Eddie understood entirely. Buck's come a long way since getting out from under Ali’s thumb, but sometimes he can't help it.

Sometimes the trauma refuses to let go.

Making his way over to the couch, Eddie only moves him enough to put Buck's head in his lap and nestle his hand in Buck's hair. It’s tacky from the product Buck put in it this morning. Quietly, he asks, "How can I help, Buck?"

Buck mumbles into his stomach, "You're already doing it."

Eddie smiles warmly to himself and leans over to press a kiss to the side of Buck’s head. Then, he settles into the couch and makes himself comfortable. He lets his head fall back against the couch, ready to stay here for as long as Buck needs, even if it’s forever.

_ There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. Not a damn thing. _

Morning comes sooner than either of them would like and somehow, Eddie feels more exhausted waking up then he did when he fell asleep. If Buck is more stressed out than the day before, Eddie can’t tell. He pushes around his food at breakfast, only managing a few bites. It’s more than yesterday, so Eddie lets it go.

Despite leaving enough time to get there, Buck and Eddie get stuck behind a three-car pile-up. By the time they arrive, they have less than ten minutes to get inside before they start. Cara is waiting for them in the lobby when they get there.

“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you.”

Buck pats his pockets until he finds his phone. “Shit, sorry, it was on silent- what’s up?”

“I’ll brief you on the way in, c’mon.”

Buck rushes to get inside the courtroom but Eddie takes a second to just breathe before going inside. He spots Maddie as soon as he opens the doors; she’s sitting in the same spot as yesterday. She looks up from her phone when he sits down.

“There you are, I thought you guys would never get here. What happened to leaving early?”

“We did. There was an accident on the freeway and we got stuck behind it.”

“Ugh. That’s a bad omen if I’ve ever heard one.”

He’s about to ask why she would say that, but the court is being called to session again and the words die in his mouth. Same as yesterday, Buck’s name is called before he comes into the room, but Eddie gets a bad feeling in his gut as soon as the doors open.

Buck looks horrified. His eyes find Eddie’s right away and he starts mouthing something that Eddie can’t understand. He mouths, “What?” But it’s of little use. He can’t figure out what Buck is trying to tell him.

It’s not until Buck is in his seat that Eddie leans forward enough to hear him say, “I’m so sorry. I swear, I didn’t know.” 

Before Eddie can ask what he’s talking about, Judge Hansen is making his way in and everyone rushes to stand. As soon as he takes his seat, he says, “I understand that there is a new witness in this case.”

“Yes, your honor,” Jenkins says with a file in his hand.

Judge Hansen motions with his fingers. “Bring it forward.”

Jenkins takes it to the front of the room and Eddie mutters to himself, “What the hell is happening?”

Judge Hansen looks over everything, talking in hushed tones with Jenkins, who returns to his seat after a minute, looking ten kinds of pleased with himself.

The bad feeling in Eddie’s gut returns with a vengeance.

“Counselor Jenkins, please proceed with your case.”

Then, Jenkins looks him dead in the eye and says, “The prosecution calls Eddie Diaz to the witness stand.”

And everything comes to a screeching stop. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mr. Diaz when you and Mr. Buckley first met were you aware of his relationship status with Miss Martin?”
> 
> Eddie clenches his fist in his lap to keep from yelling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like before, there's a fair amount of heavy conversation here, so please take your time with it if need be. Also, I don't know how courtrooms work in real life.

_ This… this has to be a mistake. What the hell could they want me for? _

Eddie fumbles to button his suit jacket, his legs feel shaky as he gets out of his seat. The security opens the gate for him; he looks over wide-eyed at Buck and Cara, trying to figure out what the hell is going on here. He feels numb all over as he swears in, hoping silently that he doesn’t look as nervous as he currently feels.

A pit grows in his stomach when Jenkins starts walking towards him. Eddie doesn’t want to know where this conversation is going. Not even a little-.

The first thing out of Jenkins' mouth is: “Mr. Diaz when you and Mr. Buckley first met were you aware of his relationship status with Miss Martin?”

Eddie clenches his fist in his lap to keep from yelling. “Not right away. I knew that Buck had been in a bad situation, but I didn’t know the gravity of it until a few weeks later when he finally told me more of what had happened.”

“And what was your reaction?”

“I believed him,” he says firmly. “I had no reason not to.”

“Even with the two of you being romantically involved?”

_ There it is. _ “Buck and I weren’t dating when that conversation was first had. The two of us didn’t get together in that way until after Ali had been arrested.”

“Because you were waiting for her to be out of the picture?”

“ _ No _ , because-,” Eddie stops himself before he says something he’ll regret. “Because Buck wasn’t ready and neither was I. We were both working through things in our personal lives.”

Jenkins has a smug look on his face like he’s got the upper hand somehow. “Going back to the night of Miss Martin’s arrest, you were the one that called Sergeant Grant, correct?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why was that?”

_ Is this guy being serious? _ “I called her because no one had seen or heard from Buck in two days and Athena was aware of this situation. I was under good suspicion that Buck was in some sort of trouble and I knew I couldn’t just walk in there and take him. I needed help.”

“So you just happened to come across a house that’s on private property half a mile away from the main road  _ and then _ decided you needed back-up?”

“I retraced my steps to where I was when Buck and I met- I had a hunch and I ran with it.”

“And then lied your way into Miss Martin’s home, correct?”

“I didn’t- I told a little white lie in hopes of finding Buck. Which, I  _ did _ .”

"Your honor, let the record show that Mr. Diaz let himself into Miss Martin's bedroom without permission- what exactly were you trying to find in there?"

Eddie ignores the question. “I asked if someone else was in the house and she said her husband was sick. I’m a firefighter and I have medical training from being in the army. I took it upon myself to do a wellness check; it’s my job. When I walked in Buck was there and-.”

“Why was he there?”

His stomach twists into a knot. “What?”

“Mr. Buckley had been living with you previous to this, after leaving Miss Martin originally. You just said that no one had heard from him in two days. So why was he back at her home instead of with you?”

_ Bastard. _

Eddie doesn’t want to think about that day, how he screamed at Buck and made him feel afraid. He looks over to Buck; even from a distance, he can see that Buck’s eyes are shiny and red. “We…  _ I _ got a bit heated the last time we talked, and Buck walked out of the house. I thought he was just going to take a walk to calm down. I didn’t know where he was going ahead of time, otherwise, I would’ve stopped him.”

“Because you wanted him all to yourself?”

“ _ No _ . Because I saw what that woman did to him the first time and I didn’t want him to go through all of that again. Nobody deserves the things that she put Buck through.”

Jenkins opens his mouth, but Eddie cuts him off.

“I know what you want from me. You want me to slip up and say something incriminating. You want to paint me like the villain in this situation and make it seem like Ali’s been wronged somehow, right? But that’s just it. I’m not the bad guy here. Meeting Buck wasn’t something I planned on. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time; when someone needed  _ help _ . I was just doing my job. Everything that happened after that, Buck moving in with me and my son, him getting his job back as a firefighter- that all happened because  _ he _ wanted it to. It was his call. I didn’t take his freedom away or tell him that he couldn’t go see his family. I’m not the one who laughed at him when he hurt himself or left him alone for hours at a time with no explanation.

“Buck and I getting together may not have been very conventional, but I don’t regret it. If I could go back to that night we met, I would do it all over again. Right down to the last second. Even if I knew it would lead to me sitting here listening to you go on about a relationship that you know  _ nothing _ about.”

Jenkins stares him down for a long moment, narrowing his eyes at Eddie. Finally, he turns on his heel, saying, “No further questions.” 

Eddie lets out a slow, long sigh once he no longer feels like there’s a noose tightening around his neck. When he looks up again, Buck is looking at the ground and his hands are clenched into fists on the table in front of him; Eddie’s got a pretty good idea as to why. 

He’s so glad that Christopher isn’t here to see all this.

Eddie straightens his shoulders again when Cara starts walking towards him; there’s a sympathetic look on her face that he hasn’t seen before. She says, “Mr. Diaz, you said that you retraced your steps back to where you originally met Mr. Buckley. Can you describe that night for me? What happened exactly?”

He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, looking over at the man in question. “I was on my way home from work. I took a shortcut I know about so that I could get home sooner. I was halfway there when someone walked onto the road, twenty feet in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes and then got out to see if the guy was okay… it was Buck.”

“What was he like when you got out of the car?”

"He was a mess, to put it lightly. I could tell Buck was injured just by looking at him but I didn't know where; he passed out before I could even get close to him so I called the paramedics. This wasn't something I could fix by myself. It took a minute before he came to again."

"And after that?"

"He was petrified- even more so when the medics finally showed up. It was a miracle he even let me touch him… Buck kept begging me not to let them take him back, said that he would listen. Please, don’t make me go back there, he said. That’s when I knew that someone had done a real number on him, I just didn’t know how bad it was.”

“And you followed him to the hospital, correct?”

Eddie nods, “I did.”

“Because you wanted to keep an eye on him,” Cara says, but it’s not accusatory at all. It’s understanding.

“I wanted to make sure that someone was going to be there for him when he woke up. It’s no fun being alone in a hospital when your whole world just got tipped on its side.” Eddie tries not to think about his own words too much for fear of getting emotional. “I needed to know that someone was looking out for him, even a total stranger.”

Cara nods at him as if to say, good job, then turns and looks to Judge Hansen. “No further questions, your honor.”

Eddie feels like his legs are made of jelly as he makes his way back to his seat. He feels like someone just read him the riot act; he swears that if he looked up right now that he would find Jenkins beady eyes burning a spot into the side of his head. Eddie can already feel a knot forming in his neck from how stiffly he’s been holding himself.

There’s a pregnant pause in the court, looking around, Eddie finds Judge Hansen staring down at the papers in front of him. It’s hard to tell if he’s leaning towards one side or another. He takes off his glasses before addressing the room.

“Given the statements that we’ve heard today and yesterday, I believe it’s time that the jury deliberate...”

_ No, no that can’t be it, _ Eddie thinks to himself.  _ There has to be something more- Ali hasn’t confessed yet. _ Before he can even consider getting up and making a scene, Cara is pushing out of her seat and interrupting the judge.

“Your honor, the defense has yet to hear Miss Martin’s statement as it was put on hold yesterday in order to keep the peace. Permission to continue questioning before letting the jury deliberate?”

Judge Hansen looks stunned at having been cut off, but his face quickly shifts that’s more curious. He glances over to Ali before looking at Buck, then addresses both lawyers. “Are both of your client’s content with the questioning being continued?”

Both sides agree in less than five seconds and Judge Hansen sits back in his chair, folding his hands together as he does. “We’re in agreement. The court will continue it’s questioning; Counselor Reeves, call your witness.”

Eddie feels his heart rate spike, whether it’s out of relief or anxiety he can’t tell. He just wants all of this to be over already, wants to go home and hold Buck and never have to think about this day ever again if he can help it.

Once Ali is at the witness stand again, Cara marches up there with a determined look on her face. “Miss Martin, when you first met Mr. Buckley, the day of the earthquake, what was your initial reaction?”

“Relief, of course. Help had come.”

“But after that, once you were both on stable ground again- what was running through your mind?”

“I wanted to thank him, of course-.”

Cara doesn’t miss a beat. “When you thank people, do you often drug their drinks and then take them home with you against their will?”

“That’s- I didn’t take Evan against his will.”

“But you did drug his drink, didn’t you? That way he couldn’t put up a fight. And in the morning when he finally came to, he wouldn’t remember anything so he would have no choice but to believe you.”

“No-.”

“And then when you still wouldn’t let him leave,  _ for weeks _ you kept him sedated so that he couldn’t get away from you.”

“Objection,” Jenkins calls. 

“Overruled,” Judge Hansen says without even blinking.

Ali sneers at Cara, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“It didn’t stop there, did it, Miss Martin? You wanted to groom him, didn’t you? You wanted to turn Mr. Buckley into someone who would answer to your every beck and call- someone who would keep the house tidy and dinner on the table when you came home at night. And when he refused or failed to do so you would punish him by tying him up and refusing to let him eat.”

“That isn’t-.”

“Miss Martin, how long have you been married?”

Ali goes pale in the face. “Excuse me?”

“You called Mr. Buckley your husband earlier. When were you married? What did the wedding look like?”

She stammers over her words. “I- We didn’t, um… Evan and I aren’t technically married.”

Eddie looks over at Buck just in time to see his shoulders drop with relief.

“Then why call him your husband?”

“We haven’t made it official, but we talked about it. I started to call him my husband just to get used to the word, like a pet name, you know?”

“Hm. Did you have any other pet names for him? Like sweetie? Or hostage, for example?”

“I’m telling you I didn’t keep-.”

“Miss Martin, are you aware that Mr. Buckley has old breaks in both of his wrists? He got them from trying to get away when you left him tied to the bedpost for an entire day.”

“He should’ve just listened!” Ali shrieks, her hands slamming down onto the wood. “All he had to do was listen to me and none of this would’ve happened.”

For a moment, it’s so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Eddie is so struck by the admittance that he forgets to breathe. Maddie’s hand covers his and squeezes for dear life; when he looks over at her, her eyes are shiny.

_ We’ve got her, _ he thinks to himself.  _ There’s no way she can say all that and still have a jury believe that any of this was consensual. _

Cara keeps going like Ali didn’t just flip this whole case on its head. “And when Mr. Buckley hurt himself just to try and get away from you,  _ you _ didn’t take him to a hospital. Why?”

“Because they would’ve taken him away from me… no else can love him like I can. Evan doesn’t need to be with anybody else.”

Cara returns to the table, looking Judge Hansen square in the eye as she says, “No further questions for the accused, your honor.”

Eddie feels his eyes sting at the same time anger starts to burn inside his chest. He doesn’t know whether to be relieved that Ali admitted to hurting Buck or downright furious that it happened in the first place- that she could have such a backwards way of thinking.

Judge Hansen looks unsettled by the new information. His fingertips rap against the hardwood in rapid succession before he addresses the room. "The jury will now be sent to deliberate the details of this case. Until they come back with a verdict, we ask that everyone present does not leave the courthouse, but feel free to get up and walk around if need be. That’s all for now.”

After the jury is gone, Ali gets led out of the room by a guard with Jenkins close behind her. Buck doesn’t move until after she’s out of the room; once he finally gets up from the table, he looks around until he catches Eddie’s eye. Eddie tilts his head and raises an eyebrow, silently asking, _you good?_ Buck just shrugs and Eddie can’t help but feel the same.

Before he can say or do anything else, Cara catches Buck’s attention, tilting her head towards the doors. Buck looks back at Eddie before following her, patting his chest twice before he goes.

Eddie smiles to himself, repeating the motion, thinking:  _ Love you, too. _

More than anything, he hopes the rest of this day is good to both of them.

Forty-five minutes. It only takes forty-five minutes for the jury to come back with a verdict but somehow it feels like the time dragged on for a year. Eddie doesn’t know whether to be relieved or worried that the jury came to a conclusion so quickly.

His chest is tight when he walks back into the courtroom; Maddie must be feeling the same thing because she reaches for him as soon as he’s close enough. Her hand curls around his when they sit down and Eddie is silently grateful for the touch. He doesn’t look at Judge Hansen or Ali or even the jury member assigned to read the verdict; Eddie keeps his eyes locked on the Buck, watching as Athena wraps her arm around him, keeping him steady.

He tunes out the rest of the room entirely until he hears: “…In the case of Evan Buckley vs Ali Martin, we find the accused _guilty_.”

Eddie can’t help the strangled, relieved gasp that comes out of his mouth. Next to him, Maddie does the same thing and he doesn’t have to look to know that she’s crying right along with him. Buck is stiff as a board in front of him like he can’t even believe it.

_ Buck did it. He fucking won. _

Eddie’s so overwhelmed by the whole moment that he nearly misses Judge Hansen reading off the details of her sentencing.

“Ali Martin, on the charges of domestic abuse, civilian endangerment, kidnapping, and attempted murder you will serve eight years in Orange County, six before the option of parole. On top of that, an immediate and indefinite restraining order will be put in place on behalf of Mr. Buckley and the rest of the one-eighteen, all of their children included in that. If you try and contact any of them even once  _ I will _ see you in this courtroom again. To the jury- thank you for your time. Court is adjourned.”

Judge Hansen slams the gavel and Eddie watches as Buck goes weak in the knees out of relief, dropping his head onto the table in front of him. On the other side of the room, Ali starts yelling incoherently, but Eddie doesn’t pay her any mind. He can’t get to Buck fast enough; he’s waited long enough to hold him.

Eddie damn near breaks down the gate in his haste to get to Buck. He doesn’t stop moving until Buck is in front of him and Eddie can wrap his arms around him. He pulls Buck up and away from the table, turning him around so they’re face to face. Seeing tears stream down Buck’s face only makes the moment more real.

“You did it,” he says, taking Buck’s face in his hands. “You won, Buck. She can’t get to you.”

Buck completely ignores the statement in favor of asking, “Can we go home now?”

Eddie laughs wetly, moving his hands so that he can pull Buck to his chest. “Yeah, yeah let’s go home.”

It takes them another half hour to get out of the courtroom; there are people to hug and hands to shake. Once they’ve finally managed to get away from the lingering crowds, Eddie and Buck all but run out to the truck. Bobby mentioned something about celebrating, but that can wait for another day. They need at least one night to themselves to process everything that happened in the last two days.

When they pull out of the parking lot, Buck speaks up for the first time in fifteen minutes and shyly asks, “Can we go get Christopher?”

If Eddie didn’t know that Buck was relieved, he’d be concerned by all the crying; Buck has been letting out a steady stream of hiccupping breaths since they left. He can’t imagine what Buck must feel like right now- finally being able to let go of some of his fears. Not having to worry that Ali is going to pop up out of nowhere and try to take him away again.

So much of the weight that he’s been carrying around is gone now.

Eddie smiles widely at him, “That sounds perfect.” Buck’s full-body sigh of relief just proves what Eddie already suspected: that Buck loves Christopher like Christopher is his own.

Eddie calls Abuela on the way to give her the good news and let her know that they’re picking up Christopher early. It’s only been two days, but Eddie would be lying if he didn’t admit that he’s itching to see Christopher again.

When they pull onto Abuela’s street, he can already see Christopher sitting on the front porch waiting for them. Buck flies out of the truck before Eddie has even parked, rushing up to the steps to get to Christopher. Christopher throws his arms up immediately, letting Buck pick him up and hold him close to his chest.

_ At the beginning of this year, Chris wouldn’t even give me a high five, let alone let someone else hold him, _ Eddie thinks to himself as he watches the pair.  _ It’s crazy how much healing has happened since Buck came into our lives. I don’t know if we could’ve moved forward without him. _

Eddie walks up just as Christopher pulls back to look Buck in the eye. “How did your court go? Did you win?”

Buck looks back at Eddie, his eyes bright and wider than ever. “Yeah,” he says, still in disbelief, “Yeah, we did.”

Eddie beams with joy. “Bud, why don’t you go get your bag and let Abuela know we’re here, okay?”

Christopher shifts in Buck’s hold until he’s on steady legs again, then heads for the door. Eddie makes a move to follow him into the house, but Buck grabs his arm before he can go anywhere. Eddie looks back at him; Buck’s making a face that Eddie’s never seen before. He can’t tell if it’s good or bad.

“What’s up… Buck, what is it?”

Buck gapes at him before quietly saying, “I love you.”

Eddie swears he’s never forgotten how to breathe so fast in his whole damn life. He’s avoided saying that word out loud- didn’t know how Buck would react to hearing it after everything he’s been through. Hearing it now though after a hellish couple of days- God, it’s  _ everything _ .

“I love you, too,” he says just as quietly, willing his voice not to crack.

Buck cracks a smile again, then uses his hold on Eddie’s arm to pull him in for a kiss. Eddie slides his hand up to the back of Buck’s head, holding him tenderly. Both of them smile into the kiss, neither one of them pulling away until they hear the front door open again.

_ I’m so glad I get to have this with you. _

The rest of the night is filled with pizza and a string of movies that they’ve all seen before- but none of them mind. They’re just happy to be together and have a little peace while they can. Buck holds Eddie and Christopher as close as possible while they’re on the couch, sneaking kisses with Eddie over Christopher’s head.

Eddie knows he should be focusing on the movie, but he can’t. He’s too busy looking at Buck. He hasn’t felt pride like this since Christopher was a baby still learning how to walk and talk. But this… this is different. Buck just went up against his worst nightmare-  _ literally _ \- and still came out on top. Hell, it’s a miracle that Buck even got the chance to do this at all.

He reaches across the back of the couch, nudging Buck’s shoulder. Buck looks over at him with bleary, tired eyes; the rest of the week is finally catching up to him. Eddie mouths  _ love you _ at him and Buck gives him an easy smile, mouthing the words right back before leaning his head against Christopher’s.

Eddie settles into the couch as well, letting his tired body relax. His back is going to hate him for falling asleep like this in the morning, but right now he doesn’t care. He’s got his family here and they’re  _ okay-. _

He doesn’t need anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And all was well again! You can find me on tumblr as paranoidbean if you wanna talk about this fic or others I have planned for this series.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading my fic! Comments/Kudos are appreciated and encouraged! Have a great day!


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